


This Can't Be The End

by oneawkwardcookie



Series: Past and Present [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brief Mentions of Blood, Car Accidents, F/M, Ficlet, Love Confessions, Mention of shannon and the car crash, Pain all the way down, Pregnant Maddie Buckley, Serious Injuries, brief reference to Doug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneawkwardcookie/pseuds/oneawkwardcookie
Summary: She's so tired of ending up trapped and fighting.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Past and Present [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883812
Comments: 8
Kudos: 14





	This Can't Be The End

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Day 6 of Madney week: “I just need you to know, that I love you.” + angst
> 
> I know the week isn't happening anymore but the real week is the ~~angst~~ content we made and shared along the way!

She blinks blearily, squeezing her eyes closed to try and calm the storm that whirls around her head. When she finally opens her eyes, she still can’t see very much. Something falls next to her with a dull crunch, and sunlight creeps in behind it, illuminating the tangled mess of metal and wires that surround her.

It takes a second for her to work out where she is, when she is. The nurse in her kicks itself awake out of hibernation and she tries to slowly move her extremities, a tired smile breaking across her face when she feels her fingers brush against cold metal and toes rub against the leather of her boots.

The expression drips off her face when she grips the ground beneath her and tries to push herself upright, only to be choked by a blinding lightning bolt of pain. It sends her reeling backwards, all the way to pine trees and snow-covered rocky plains.

She’s so tired, so tired of being broken and bruised and trapped. She wants to fight but she’s no match against the metal rod sticking out of her shoulder, pinning her to the ground. She tries to stay calm, slowing her breathing so that each inhale no longer shatters something within her, and each exhale doesn’t feel like someone is punching the air out of her.

She feels cold but there’s no snow in LA in August; there’s only rough concrete under her, dampened by her sweat, blood and tears. She can hear a siren in the distance somewhere. She doesn’t know whether she wants it to be the 118 or not. She wants to see her brother and apologise for leaving him again. She wants to see Chimney and tell him…tell him everything she’s always felt but been unable to say.

But until then, she’s alone.

The world lurches to the side as she’s hit with a wave of nausea and she remembers: she’s not alone.

As the darkness starts to envelope her, she whispers to her belly, “I just need you to know that I love you”

* * *

It’s a car accident and he’s already thrown back to a year ago, except he’s no longer captain, which is just as well because he’s never felt this helpless before; years of training and field experience turning to ash and dust at the sight of Maddie’s car, upturned and wrecked in the middle of the street.

There are hands guiding him back to the ambulance, to sit on the step, in front of the open doors. His legs are numb, and he can’t bring himself to strain his head, to try and catch a glimpse of her between the first responders that are gathered around the car.

Someone’s talking to him, a gentle soothing tone that’s completely at odds with the whirring of saws and frantic chatter, but also seems utterly deafening in the vacuum of his head.

The clock restarts when people part and a stretcher makes its way over to him. He lurches upwards, scrambling backwards as the stretcher is slid into the ambulance.

She’s alive, she’s alive and awake, although her eyes are a little unfocussed.

“Maddie?” His voice sounds like he’s been in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights.

She’s immediately alert, head twisting within the confines of the neck brace to try and see him. He drops to his knees next to her, the cold metal barely registering as he kneels beside her, both hands clasped around one of hers.

“I’m here, I’m here.”

“It’s you.”

“I’m not going anywhere Maddie, and neither are you.” The waver in his voice negates the forcefulness behind the sentiment. “You know the drill.”

“I do.” They’d laugh if it wouldn’t kill her, if it wasn’t killing him. “Howie…” her voice trails off, and he strokes her face gently to get her to open her eyes again.

“Howie, I just need you to know, that I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I can only seem to write angst for these two lately 🤷🏽 You get to decide how this actually ends though!
> 
> I'm on Tumblr ([oneawkwardcookie](https://oneawkwardcookie.tumblr.com/)) if you want to say hi!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated :)


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